Linen Sheets

When I got my period in the sixth grade

I apologize to my mother for bleeding

on linen sheets

for waking up wet

and red

and woman

laughing she runs cold

water in the kitchen sink

this is forever, sweet girl a lifelong of blood

I don’t understand how a dripping daughter could be funny

Until

I laughed when I told him

he’s not good at listening

Like a child losing his temper

(he was twenty one and smart)

Like relentless,

Like come on,

Like I know you want it,

Like begging, like I moved on her like a bitch, like attention whore, like asking for it, like when you’re a star you can do anything, like frat rules, like bro she’s a hot mess, like this will destroy his family and good name, like just a rumour, like not surprised, like if you’re looking for a fair process you came to the wrong town at the wrong time my friend.

(he was my friend)

like this campus is so small.

too small to swallow

like a pill

stuck in your throat

like the word itself (say it!) rape

like shrinking

in a dorm room

festering over how

you became

woman too soon

trying too hard

not to bleed

on linen sheets